The fact: the Toronto Raptors play basketball like Rob Ford plays football. The sad part: they can’t even blame it on a drunken stupor.
The Toronto Rob-tors Nov 24, 2013
I, like many Raptors fans asked
myself a question back in May. I will now repeat that question: are the
playoffs a possibility in this upcoming season?
Eleven games in, the Raptors have hit a brick wall (much
like Rob Ford against a camera). They lie in 9th place in the
Eastern conference with a record of 4-7.
“Hey, four wins… that’s not bad! The season is still young! We can do it!”
Their record is very deceiving. Three of those wins come from arguably the three worst teams in the NBA; a rebuilding, Rondo-less Celtics, a 2-7 Bucks without Larry Sanders, and a 1-10 Jazz with well...no one really.
On the (not so) bright side, one of their only strengths carried on from last season. They never fail to think up of new ways to lose in an embarrassing or heartbreaking fashion.
Getting manhandled by LeBron James? Check.
Losing to a Derrick Rose-less Bulls? Check.
Lose to the Charlotte “the-joke-of-the-league” Bobcats? Check.
Score a buzzer-beater to send the game into overtime, only to lose it anyways? Oh, you betcha!
“What could the problem be?” Is it:
A) Rudy Gay shooting too much.
B) DeMar DeRozan shooting too much.
C) Everyone’s shooting too much.
D) All of the above
The answer is quite obvious;
Option E), Rob Ford! All joking aside, the correct response would be D): everything. Nothing has gone right for this team.
The two “stars” of the team, Gay and DeRozan, are ballhogs; they shoot too much. Together, they have hoisted up 423 shots, making less than 40% of those. Since the ball goes to either of the two virtually every play, they become black-holes that suck up the entire offence. In addition, the pair has only racked up 48 assists, leading to an average of 4 assists per game. Combined.
This duo is coupled with a scoring-oriented starting point guard in Lowry. Although he is trying to adapt to his facilitator role, he too is a chucker, with a mere 65 assists and a less than ideal 40% shooting percentage.
With the lowest number of assists in the league, the Raptors are clearly comprised of core players that are selfish, do-it-all-type competitors. They are really missing José Calderon, despite his allergy to playing defence.
So what am I suggesting?
This franchise has reached the pinnacle of mediocrity. The worst place to be in the sports world: no playoffs, yet no top draft picks.
This year however, comes an opportunity.
Behold, the 2014 NBA draft class.
“Who’s in it?”
Andrew Wiggins: Born and raised in Toronto. Maple Jordan. An athletic freak with Hall-of-Fame-talent.
Jabari Parker: The next Carmelo Anthony. A guaranteed franchise player.
Julius Randle: A beast in the paint. A strong body that can dominate in the post.
The list continues.
So, Word2thewoss readers, join the bandwagon that I have presented to you, and let’s go Riggin’ for Wiggins, or travel to the Tank Safari for Jabari, or maybe even pull off a Scandal for Randle.
I know that this means losing. In the wise words of Rob Ford however, “The past is the past and we need to move on.”
If you disagree, pop me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org! My mind is as open as a player Andrea Bargnani is defending.
By: Cameron Lee